I don't know where I am going or what I am doing.... But I know what I am doing is right...I am Following my instincts...

EVERYTHING CHANGES

The Awkward Truth

The Awkward Truth can be very hard to hear and see....

Why is Living, hearing, and saying the Truth so awkward? Because facing any truth is hard... you will look around it up and down and anywhere but directly at it....how to ignore the elephant in the room???

I do it ....everyone does

a relationship that does not work... a bad habit... a job.... the list goes on....

how many times in the past before I quit smoking cigarettes did light one knowing that it would kill me.... I ignored that truth and did it anyway...

I look at life from a very broad perspective... and break it down to basics... I am a very literal person... Thats my downfall...

If you live by the truth as much as you can .... life is better...

What are past lives and why are they important?

They are important to us as individuals and also important to us as part of a group.

we travel together in groups... families ... good or bad ....that's how we learn and love.

there is no mystery...

We are all on this planet to learn as group and move forward as a group... We all do this by being apart of a whole.... but learning as individuals.... helping us along the way are the families we are born into and the friends and enemies we meet along the way.... they all teach us something.

How could an enemy help you? by sending you in the opposite direction....how many times have you done something to get back at or just to spite someone?????

well ..... in doing so .... you change you own path and destiny..... think about that .... and realize that out of something bad... often something good comes out of it....

If you mess with a hornet's nest... chances are you are going to get stung.


Sometimes you can create your own hornets nest so you can sting yourself...

Too many people do not take responsibility for their own actions.

Jesus Tree

Carnival OZ

OZ

You can be a follower as long as you know how to be a leader

You can take care of Others as long as you know how to take care of yourself

You can tell others what to do if you know how to hear what they have to say

You can move forward as long as you know where you came from

You should always give to others .... even the smallest gift can make a difference....

For awhile now , I have been defining my belief system... trying to organize my thoughts... and chart it out...

I do believe in god... but my definition ... that is another story. I do not believe in organized religion... I see more prejudice come out of them than understanding.... more barriers than bridges....

I was raised catholic .... and it will always be apart of me...

I believe all things that we perceive... make up god... god is all around us... so in a sense we are god... everyone is equal... everyone has the same potential.... it is what and how we decide to do with that potential... ignore it or let it grow into something ....

God helps those who help themselves

Man is not god ... but god works through man

Sometimes a little change in direction can make life more interesting

It's Not As Hard AsYou Think, But Not Easy As You Want It To Be

Trust my own dreams

Casting myself off in the void again, with no idea where I am going....or how to get there.

I do know one thing... I trust my intuition, and its that knowledge that gives my the trust to follow my instincts.... I don't mind failing as long as its on my terms...

Here I go again....

The Great Equalizer

The great equalizer .... Time

You can fight a lot of things in life... conquer personal challenges... become brilliant at what and how you do things...and do all the right things both on a spiritual level and a materialistic level... But we can not run away from the great equalizer know as time.... we all end up at the same place... we all age the same way... our independence taken away... it is a very hard thing to face...and see. Not only in ourselves, but also in others ... your family and friends.....

The only thing you can do is take it gracefully... and be grateful to have a long life .... and appreciate your moments of joy....

Making Sense Out Of The Whole .... No Such Luck

I realize that every person has a unique point of view and belief system.

Long ago I stopped my own belief that there is ever going to be one idea and reality shared by all... this is not a statement of defeatism... but more of an acknowledgement that consciousness is held together by every ones different reality and that all those different realities make up the whole...
How many religions are there on this earth? And even in ONE religion .... how many opposing points of view. Everyone wants to think that they are right... and they are right... its their glue that holds them together and keeps them sane...

We all fear the same thing ... death... What happens afterwards... Where do we go....

I fear death... But you know... Like everyone I have no choice on the matter.... sooner of later...

And I think its that fear that gives power to Religion and God... however you want to define it.

I am always in Awe how each soul makes sense out of their reality, and ultimately how it is all held together... That's a mighty big job to oversee it all... Thank God for God....

February 14th

Here we go again .... Valentines Day

For many years I have been single, and Valentines Day has often been a day to be ignored ... but in a media driven culture it is a very hard thing to ignore such a big day.

I have been blessed to have someone to love, and who also loves me... and even though I had a great Valentines weekend ... I am still woke up alone today...But with a happiness... Valentines day is not just about celebrating your love for another, but also celebrating a love for yourself and your accomplishments...

Loving yourself and also another unconditionally is a very hard lesson to learn... it takes a lot of courage and maturity to do so... To love someone and yourself with no strings and conditions attached. But in the end you are rewarded.... with freedom ... both physical and mental.

You can learn just as much about yourself if you are single or bonded to another ....

I personally think its harder when you are in a relationship ... you have to consider your partner in all decisions and how it will effect them as well as yourself... that is a big responsibility... and it works both ways...

Its taken me a long time... But I love Valentines Day...

No Big Mystery

There is no great mystery about what I do and how I do it...

It is a matter of steps... just like with any other job or action in life.

I sit down... ground myself like an anchor... open myself up to the universal consciousness ( the energy of the universe ) ... and open myself up to the person I am reading... they open up like a book... a reading can be done in person or over the phone ... it does not matter where you are, the other side of the world or right next door.

Like everything there are boundaries to respect... I do not look without permission.

People fear the unseen and what is out of there control.

What I do is not fear based... The past is the past, and matters for not (learn from it )... The present is full of possibilities ( Enjoy the moment ) .... And the future? I personally do not like future casting... because it brings about expectation... and do you really want to know? I would not.... the future should be about anticipation... that's the fun in life.

My aim is to bring about hope and awareness... awareness of your own possibilities.

Patterns of Love

I have been giving readings for years...

For me giving a reading is like excersing a mussel, and what I get out of it is a better understanding of myself and also a brief glimse into how the universe is put together.

Like everyone of my clients who has come to me ... I ask the same questions... why?

Why are we here, Why do we have to suffer along the way, Why do we put ourselves through it? Do we have a choice?

Yes, we always have a choice...

Doing energy work, and being a psychic is like any other profession and skill ... you are good at somethings and others you are not.

I am very good at looking at; and reading Past life experiences.... like graduating from college that is my degree.

Doing any Past Life reading gives me the ability to see the overall picture of what is going on for you today, and we often drag pieces of who we once were and our own past actions into our present day lives...

There are somethings I have observed over and over again ... There is no resolution ...and we love messing with each others shit. It keeps us together... What better way to learn and propel our way forward...

You learn as much from an enemy as much as a friend.

For me there is no other high that can compare to the joyful peace, and connection I feel when I am giving a reading.

Seeking Each Other Through Damaged Lenses

We give ourselves away in pieces every day...To others and even to our own selves... a past Love relationship perhaps?

We look for and seek each other through damaged lenses ....We are looking for our own damage….and reflection in others…

I ... like everyone else... has been hurt when I comes to love... some people are able to shut it off and go on ... others become frozen in place... while others go through the experience and learn and then move on. I tend to fall in the middle of being frozen for awhile and then moving on.

I guess my damage is to enjoy the black hole of dispare for awhile... really look at it, understand it, and then move on ... to appreciate just having been able to love, some people don't even get the chance due to mental of physical conditions... I have never had any regrets about how I go about things... my process...

Everything changes and nothing remains constant...

Just A Thought For The Day

You got to do what makes you feel comfortable and Happy.... One step at a time. Stop projecting and getting overwhelmed by one of the many possibilities of and in your own imagination.

So many of us worry about things out of our control, like Save the planet.

That's a mighty big job.

Well.... I would think that helping and saving yourself first helps the planet in the end, and I don't mean finding Jesus...

If you believe in Jesus... than you should know that he is always there for you.

I once had a roommate who said that my soul, after I die, was going to have to spend some time in purgatory for my lack of recycling.... Never mind the fact that I had replaced ever light bulb in the house with an energy efficient one. I say that Today's trash is tomorrows oil....(the truth was that I stopped recycling because they never took out the trash, or brought the bins back in)

And yes... I do recycle... but I do not worry about if my neighbors are .... That could drive you crazy.

My view about the planet is simple..... This planet, our little Paradise....hurling its way through the massive universe... Is just a tool... for a group of souls.

The earth will survive and go on... We, on the other hand... I think the jury is still out on that one. One meteor, Another world war, A shift in the earth axis... you can kiss humanity goodbye....We are very fragile indeed...

From The Top Of The Mountain

When I was 35 years old ... my mother passed away very unexpectedly.

The second night after her death, I had one of the most intense and powerful dreams I had ever had.

It started out at a festival, a festival taking place high in the mountains. There were people dancing together in small groups. They were dancing in a vast open field of very bright and vivid green grass. In the distance you can see another mountain. It was a classic shape, with a snowy peak that was set against a soft pink sky. The day was clear and bright.

Someone in a close group pointed and called out for us to look at the mountain. A halo of light started to emerge from behind the top of the peak. I was not just sunshine, but also energy. It felt like love. As the light became brighter and more intense, everyone on the platue started to rise off the ground. I felt my body rising higher off the ground the more love I was able to feel. I felt at peace; no feeling of want.

Just as slowly as we all rose upwards, our descent started, and the feelings of love that I felt with such intensity started to fade. I felt deprived. I could feel it being taken away. It also seemed to get darker. It was over ...and then I opened my eyes ....

The dream stayed with me... For the next couple of days I felt connected and close to my mother.... and loved.

The Big Bad Wolf Continued

Since writing my last post; I have been thinking about that Big Bad Wolf... and what it means to me.

It's a theme that has been running with me for a long time... it crops up every so often.

Now... I am not the wolf... but not really Red Riding Hood either.

My own personal wolf, right now has been defining my spiritual structure... a very cerebral wolf indeed ... but your wolf can be anything...

A co-worker, family member, spouse, drugs & alcohol, cigarettes, health, your credit card balance?

Anything you might fear... fear is a very strong emotion... it disables as well as enables...

As I get older I tend to meet fear head on ... get it over with... like ripping off a band aid... do it fast; it will hurt less.

I have even put myself in the path of the wolf... just to find out if they were a wolf in sheep's clothing. Every wolf will reveal itself in end... They can't help it. Again - you can only hold back that tidal wave for so long... why struggle ... go with the flow and enjoy the ride.

If someone has bad intentions towards you... the best defense/offense sometimes is not to react and watch them spin...

You can control somethings; like the drugs & alcohol ... even the credit card... That just takes strength, your own will, and time....

Time is a wonderful thing.... it reveals... and it also solidifies...

From Around A Tall Hedge

One of the first dreams I can remember was about the big bad Wolf.

I can look back on it now and wonder why it did not scare me.... He was a classic ..... Walking around back from a very tall and long hedge.... standing there ... tall; looking at me ....

I was Four or Five years old .... and I remember very clearly waking up, going downstairs, and eating breakfast. Thinking about the big bad Wolf as I ate a bowl of cereal. Knowing that it was just a dream and I was totally safe in my parents kitchen, flooded with sunshine from the large glass sliding door. My mother totally oblivious as she moved about the kitchen, and smoking her morning cigarette.... my brother sitting at my side.

Since then I have always been fascinated with the theme of little Red Riding Hood... The older I get the more important that dream becomes... Who was the Wolf? I was ignorant of its meaning as a child eating that bowl of cereal.


I have always felt protected...and have always easily ;without effort ...skated along.... urged forward by unseen angels? Maybe even protected by that very wolf....

One thing that I have always fought ... my own personal tidal wave ... Inactivity. I loved my warm unfocused lazy bubble.

In High School I lost 85 pounds... In my 20's I joined a gym, I never became mussel bound, but did stick with, and enjoy it...working with 3 personal trainers over those years.... I slowed down in my 30's ... a creeping back problem. In my 40th year I made a big push... to finally conquer that personal tidal wave of inactivity.

I challenged every self doubt and fear I could think of.... What a few years.... I started volunteering my butt off... a homeless organization... a school for deaf children... tutoring early readers at a local elementary school.... I joined a softball team ( this coming from an overweight teenager who dreaded field day )... I started marathon training... and took knitting and glass blowing classes... and I survived... a solid 2 year process....I burnt out... but survived. I proved to myself that I can .... Live with, and not fear my own Big Bad Wolf of self denounced inactivity.

The Bread Crumb Trail

If I look back on my all my years, and follow my bread crumb trail of jobs and personal accomplishments... I can easily dismiss it all with self doubt and tear it all down in comparison to others successful accomplishments.

I have had the "Life of Riley"... no worries... the silver platter never looked so good. But still, you can set the stage, put on the costume, act the part... and still have an audience of crickets.... Poor me ... how sad... what a waste.

I gave up trying to attain perfection years and years ago... and that was a hard lesson and pill to swallow to find my peace.

My bread crumb trail started early;in Kindergarten... and continued almost to this very year... I lived in an unfocused bubble... I was comfortable, content, and in my own tower; built very tall and strong.

I had no confidence in my own potential, no faith in my natural talents, no ambition, no passion ... and compared myself to others and popular culture...

I did have dreams... lots and lots of dreams... I was born day dreaming.

I was so busy looking at the perfect ending ... that I would sabotage own goals... How could I ever get there? Justify my very existence? Make my parents proud and show them my big boy pants....

I able to look back now.... and see how it all falls into place.... I am proud of my bread crumbs...

For years, unconsciously, I had been working on my own personal tools, driven by instinct... little by little.

I am a jack of limited trades... I cannot build a house... but I do know how to pick one! I am packed to the brim with common sense... I have navigated my way forward staying true to my instinctual path...

I am proud of my big boy pants...

Beginning... Middle... End

The passing of time can bring clarity... Good and Bad Or Agreement and Regret

I would like to very agreeable with the universe and say that I do not have any regrets, but in 45 years a few nasty little regrets are bound to pile up ... The past is the past and cannot be changed. I would not change anything if I could.

You can control your own actions, but will always fail when trying to control other individuals and events. Even if you think you can ... use every ounce of energy you have... back them against a wall... like holding back an oncoming tidal wave... you will eventually give in and fail, and lose what you so desperately want to keep.

Now we have all been there... A lover? A job? your youth? your child? your house? your pride?

There is always a beginning and always an end... it takes place everyday in your own daily routine. From the moment you open your eyes in the morning. Think about that.

I have been lucky enough to have been able to appreciate and see this from a toddler to now. Did I agree with it, and like it ... that's a different story.

When you surrender, and are able to observe, appreciate, and accept what is out of your control... it becomes easier.

For a year of my life I worked in a nursing care facility ... Helping my residents take care of their daily needs... With the passing of time they watched with fustration as their bodies failed to respond to their own will and control.

OH... the anger, disbelief, denial, desperation... I witnessed... What ever happened to growing old gracefully?... Very few residents were content with the natural process of ageing that every life form has to go through... Beginning/Middle/End.

For myself... I can only appreciate and honor my actions and choices of the past...and enjoy where I am in the now...

Your Actions Define Who You Are

I have been doing energy work for years; For 23 years to be exact.

For a large portion of those years I have done it for myself and not as business.

I consider it a part of who I am, and also physical extension of my spirituality. It works for me. It has carried me through some very dark moments in my life.

I am a skeptic, a conservative, but I am also a believer that all things are possible... and that one subject point can have a multiple of realities of truth attached to it.

I believe you should do what works for you, listen to others, respect who they are ...and what they believe and say, but at the same time, hold true to your own instincts. They will always lead you to where you want to go, and what makes you happy.

For years I have been told my heart is not open... Ahh... that's a big one! My heart is not open? I thought it was... I would like to think I am a compassionate individual, I know how to show love, and I enjoy being loved. I know the difference between right and wrong. I give when I can. What more can I do? What defines and open Heart?

Respect.... respect for others and of yourself ... your actions define who you are.

To have an open heart and continue to dwell there ... does not mean to go about life stumbling along your path. Keep your eyes open, and look ahead.

Into The Void

"There come moments in your life when you realize that you have only one thing, and that is yourself. All the props that you use during a lifetime to make yourself feel at ease in the world will eventually fail. If you have been in relationship with others who have fed meaning into your life, someday you will awaken and find yourself alone. if you have children, they grow up; if you have an important position in life, you retire or it is taken away from you; if you have beauty, you become old; if you are powerful, you become weak and infirm."

I love this quote.

About four years ago I moved away from my comfort zone and home of the past fifteen years. My friends, my family, my well constructed everyday life... all let go.

I enjoy shaking things up. I enjoy learning through change. I do not worry about failing and tossing myself into the void of nothingness, how else can you learn about who you are and what you want to achieve. This does not mean I do not like stability in my life. I do like the slower lane.

So... I found myself sitting in a new house, living in a new town, looking for a new job, and with nothing to do but start again from the beginning. What did I do?

I embraced my decision, and trusted the void... it could not hurt me.

To Each His Own

We are very lucky indeed...

Our Planet and all it's life was born from a delicate balance... No matter if you believe in God and his actions or shear Luck of the draw. You have to acknowledge that our everyday lives and very existence is a miracle.

But do we treat it that way? Do you appreciate that the sun is shines everyday and it warms your very soul? Do you live in moment? Can you step aside from your ego? Can you love another without fear?

I know that everyday Life is not easy... It can be difficult and shocking at times ... Just watch the news.

We Worry ... We Doubt ... We Fear... We Hide... I do all those things on a daily basis...

I know that I am very Lucky... I am breathing... I have a full stomach with a roof over my head.


I stopped watching the news. I got tired of watching all the violence with only a few glimpses of Love and compassion.

We are definitely a bunch of primates... with a lot of rules and regulations on how to live and how to act.

For now I am living in the moment, and making the most of each day. My eyes are open and I am not ignoring what I see.

The shift has begun.